Begin With Identity, Not Injustice
Many Black parents face the important decision of when to speak to their children about racism. This conversation — often referred to as “the talk” — is essential, but it should not be the starting point. Before discussing racism, we should encourage our children to explore, to understand and to love who they are.
If children first learn about Blackness in the context of oppression, there’s a risk they may associate their identity with hardship or limitation. Instead, we must encourage them to connect with their identity in a way that builds pride, strength and clarity.
Explore Melanin and the Body
One of the most tangible starting points is melanin — specifically, eumelanin, the molecule responsible for our dark skin, hair and eyes. Eumelanin doesn’t just shape appearance; it also plays an important role in protecting the body from ultraviolet light, supporting immune function, and regulating biological processes.
We should encourage our children to learn about how their bodies work — not just in terms of health, but in understanding the inherent power and intelligence within their biology. Introducing terms like melanated can help them become comfortable speaking about their identity in confident, informed ways.
Root Understanding in African Origins
Black children must know that the story of humanity begins in Africa. Homo sapiens emerged on the African continent 230,000 years ago and lived there exclusively for tens of thousands of years before migrating elsewhere. We can also teach children about how Africans maintained high levels of eumelanin while others lost eumelanin due to mutations and adaptations. Children benefit from knowing the wider context of their identity.
We can share with our children that people of African descent are the only group today who carry no significant Neanderthal DNA — a genetic distinction that speaks to a unique historical continuity. Framing this in a positive, factual way gives children a clearer picture of their deep roots and place in the human family. It doesn’t indicate superiority, but these are necessary facts to counteract the deceits of scientific racism.
Highlight Culture and Contribution
We should also expose children to the richness of African and African diaspora achievements — in art, science, literature, philosophy, politics and beyond. From historical civilisations to contemporary innovators, these stories help our children see that Black excellence is broad, diverse, and ongoing.
Normalising these narratives allows them to feel connected to something greater than themselves — a legacy they can continue in their own way.
Preparing for Conversations About Racism
With this foundation in place, the discussion about racism becomes something different. It becomes easier for children to see racism as a distortion of truth, rather than something that defines who they are.
Children who have grown up learning to value themselves are far less likely to internalise racist messages. They’re more likely to ask questions, push back, and see injustice for what it is — not a reflection of them, but a problem in the world that needs to be understood and addressed.
In nurturing identity early, we help our children grow with confidence and the tools to thrive in any environment.
